I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
