do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
