They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Randomize
