Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
