I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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