that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
