just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize