I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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