I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
