..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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