UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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