One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
