come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
