he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
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