Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
