Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
and she was petting her beer can
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
i think im in europe. pls send help
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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