Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You made out with two different species that night
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
