omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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