You really coming over, don't trick.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
