who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
