He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize