so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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