DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
