So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
