My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I want to fling myself into the sun
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
