I'm jealous of your bromance
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
