We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
