my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
