before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
