what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize