i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
