when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
