I just cut my nipple shaving
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
