I think my vagina is haunted
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
