Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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