Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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