On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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