Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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