I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize