Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
they call him Oral-B. enough said
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
