he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
