what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
