I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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