Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
