Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
