I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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