You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
