You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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