I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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