when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
