All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
