There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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