seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
