sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
