okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
