dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
