woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You were trust falling into bushes
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
