He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
