New low: just hacked my moms facebook
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
