Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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