If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
