This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
