he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
