This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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