He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
